Prologue of the adventure
The sea was calm in that afternoon. Somewhere to the west, the tree-island of Teldrassil rose from the endless waters. A lone cloud seemed to be standing in place for some time now, only a few miles off shore. Voices could be heard from inside the cloud. It hid The Mighty Wind – one of the best war zeppelins in The Horde’s vast arsenal. On deck, Captain La Fontaine was giving order after order. The goblins Barrowswieele, Plattertop, Shubbscoop, and the orcs Griskee and Gritch were taking care of the final preparations.
Inside the zeppelin there was a total disarray, when the orc stepped heavily through the door, the one that hated the Alliance...Nazgrel, right hand of the Warchief, last of the Kash'drakor. He looked around him, and pointed his heavy hand towards the mission’s Strategist and angry spoked to the bunch of goblins:
“I didn’t come all the way from Outland to see you drink and play dice! I WANT TO HEAR THE PLAN!"
Squad 2’s task was much more complex. This squad was composed of 2 Tinkers, 2 Rogues, and 4 Sappers. From one of Teldrassil’s branches, near Darnassus, the Tinkers’ machineries would catapult themselves, along with the rest of the squad inside. Once in the elven capital, the goblins had to secure a bridgehead, behind The Temple Gardens, adjacent to the waterfall. One of the Tinker’s mission was to establish an escape route, while the other infiltrated enemy territory.In case of failure, he had to secure a barrage of rockets, to push back elven counter-attacks to the escape route. The Rogues’ job was to be the first behind enemy lines, and after eliminating the guards from areas established for mining, they had to The Sappers were divided into two teams. Their objectives were The Warrior’s Terrace, Cenarion Enclave, and the entrance to The Temple of the Moon. The final objective – Cenarion Enclave – was to be filled with bombs, after the mining of the other objectives. Between the tree’s walls and the Enclave, the two squads were to regroup, and retreat via the escape route secured by the first Tinker, and exit Darnassus. The second Tinker was to await the Rogues, their escape taking place in the same manner. The plan was typically goblin-ish. Simple,effective and distructiv.regroup at attack areas, waiting in camouflage for the first explosions.
Picking his nose, one of the Rogue says to the strategist:
“General, I’m afraid this is a bridge too far…” , after which he gets closer to him, and, smiling, continues: “You wanna know, how I got this scar or you big guy, orc, or whatever you are?”
Nazgrel leaves the room, speechless.
Ventry the mad smily Maxy departs according to plan. The elf fell quickly, but before striking him, the goblin asks: “You wanna know how I got these scars?”. In only a few minutes, more elves fell near The Cenarion Enclave. Arriving next to a building at the fringes of The Craftsman’s Terrace, the Rouge finds himself in the middle of a group of elves, caught in a fiery argument. The goblin jumps in a barrel. Scratching the scar on his nose, he listens to the elves’ pretty tangled discussion about The Emerald Dream. The number of elves grew, and the goblin remembered his mission. He crawled out of the barrel, climbed over a wall, and entered a building through its window. A few frowns, a moan and a silhouette in the semi-darkness catches his eye. He draws his dagger and moves closer…Surprise! Shock! Surprise and shock! In the goblin’s mind, unimaginable connections begin to form. In front of him a night elf was giving birth. The goblin draws nearer to her. Angry, he feels the scars at the corners of his mouth. The night elf was delirious. Maxi calms himself, and begins to help her with the childbirth, speaking to her in the tongue of the noble elves:
“My fair lady, time is money. Let’s get this over with, because I’ve got other pressing matters to attend to. You know, I sort of had to kill some elves at the moment. Com’on beautiful, push! Com’on! For the money's sake, is just 1 not 10 little monsters with long ears!!"
In her delirium, the elf grabs his hand and, smiling, answers his pleas to give birth faster, through a question:
The sea was calm in that afternoon. Somewhere to the west, the tree-island of Teldrassil rose from the endless waters. A lone cloud seemed to be standing in place for some time now, only a few miles off shore. Voices could be heard from inside the cloud. It hid The Mighty Wind – one of the best war zeppelins in The Horde’s vast arsenal. On deck, Captain La Fontaine was giving order after order. The goblins Barrowswieele, Plattertop, Shubbscoop, and the orcs Griskee and Gritch were taking care of the final preparations.
Inside the zeppelin there was a total disarray, when the orc stepped heavily through the door, the one that hated the Alliance...Nazgrel, right hand of the Warchief, last of the Kash'drakor. He looked around him, and pointed his heavy hand towards the mission’s Strategist and angry spoked to the bunch of goblins:
“I didn’t come all the way from Outland to see you drink and play dice! I WANT TO HEAR THE PLAN!"
At that very moment, a shadow from the corner answered:
“Hey, big guy, watch your mouth! Or do you want me to put a smile on that pretty face?"
From the opposite corner, Monty the little Trompi threw the map on the table.
“That’s the spirit”, Nazgrel said, lifting his fist in the air “For the Horde!”
The great strategist was at a table, inside one of the zeppelin’s heavily armored chambers, surrounded by Rogues, Tinkers and Sappers. A detailed map of Teldrassil was covering the whole table’s surface. Monty begins to explain the entire operation, code-named “Operation Market Garden”.
At midnight, three boats were to be launched from the zeppelin, at sea. One headed to Rut’theran’s harbor , the other two, towards the outskirts of Darnassus. Squad 1, embarked for the docks was composed of 5 Sappers, and 3 Rogues. Their attack was to be launched from behind a root of The Elves’ Tree, somewhere to the left of the Docks. One Sapper, and 3 Rogues had to infiltrate the docks from land, take out the guards and destroy the portal towards Darnassus. The rest of Squad 1, 4 Sappers, were to approach the pontoon, on water, camouflaged by some dry-wood trunks. They would have to blow up the pontoon, and mine the area around it.Squad 2’s task was much more complex. This squad was composed of 2 Tinkers, 2 Rogues, and 4 Sappers. From one of Teldrassil’s branches, near Darnassus, the Tinkers’ machineries would catapult themselves, along with the rest of the squad inside. Once in the elven capital, the goblins had to secure a bridgehead, behind The Temple Gardens, adjacent to the waterfall. One of the Tinker’s mission was to establish an escape route, while the other infiltrated enemy territory.In case of failure, he had to secure a barrage of rockets, to push back elven counter-attacks to the escape route. The Rogues’ job was to be the first behind enemy lines, and after eliminating the guards from areas established for mining, they had to The Sappers were divided into two teams. Their objectives were The Warrior’s Terrace, Cenarion Enclave, and the entrance to The Temple of the Moon. The final objective – Cenarion Enclave – was to be filled with bombs, after the mining of the other objectives. Between the tree’s walls and the Enclave, the two squads were to regroup, and retreat via the escape route secured by the first Tinker, and exit Darnassus. The second Tinker was to await the Rogues, their escape taking place in the same manner. The plan was typically goblin-ish. Simple,effective and distructiv.regroup at attack areas, waiting in camouflage for the first explosions.
Picking his nose, one of the Rogue says to the strategist:
“General, I’m afraid this is a bridge too far…” , after which he gets closer to him, and, smiling, continues: “You wanna know, how I got this scar or you big guy, orc, or whatever you are?”
Nazgrel leaves the room, speechless.
Night falls over Teldrassil, without Elune's Blessing coming. The moon was hidden, and the calm sea was united through darkness with the sky, as if without divine protection. No elf saw any potential danger in the black void which surrounded the Great Tree. Luck was on the goblins’ side. With an hour to spare before midnight, The Horde’s zeppelin begins moving towards the waters which separated Teldrassil from Bloodmyst Isle. That’s where the attack would begin…time was flowing…the boats were cutting through the waters, towards the island…the elves were still boasting with their impenetrable defense.
In the dock area, the plan ran like clockwork. Elven bodies spread through the dock stood as proof of the attack’s efficiency. The experimental, silent, bombs destroyed the portal and the pontoon. Not an hour later, the waters around Rut’theran were filled with mines. Soon, they all retreated quietly to the zeppelin.
The second attack ensued. Throughout the threatened Darnassus goblins begin to move, but their victory will not be one of the entire team, but one of hazard. Mistakes, lack of coordination, improvisation, and even insanity will contribute to what the historians of The Horde will call “The Great Jammy”. A few early explosions occur before the Sappers planted any bombs led to mission abort. All the goblins from The Temple of the Moon, and one from The Warrior’s Terrace, retreat along with the Tinker from The Temple Gardens, catapulting themselves out of Darnassus. After the initial explosions, a few rocket launches follow. The elves, staggered by the sudden conflagrations, also contributed to the chaos. All was leveled to the ground, by the goblins stuck in Darnassus, as well as by the elves from The Tradesman’s Terrace – not included in the goblin’s plan of attack. Pillars of smoke rose from the city, although the bombs did not exist. What happened?
To answer this question, we must look back in time, to the beginning of the operation. The team of Sappers in the north – near The Howling Oak – had to scramble at the sight of a few elves. The Rogue in front of them should’ve already cleaned the area, but he had other matters to attend to at that time. Separated from the group, one of the Sappers, Cioby Brokebeak, got lost, and found himself near The Craftsman’s Terrace. The shadow of what appeared to be a goblin, confused him even further. Annoyed, Cioby stopped to take a leak, and randomly chose a tree. While his was pissing, unknown cracks can be heard around him. The tree’s leaves begin to lower, the branches to hit him, and a wooden face doesn’t seem very happy. The goblin’s eyes widen, as he couldn’t believe what was happening. He just pissed on a Treant!!! The Treant grabbed him by one of his legs, and begins to shake him violently. He then slams the poor goblin to the ground, and raises a foot to crush him. The goblin’s high-pitched voice, filled with fear, can be heard saying:
“Hit the face, and you’re firewood!” .
The Treant’s foot hit the earth. Cioby rolls sideways, and pulls out a flare, which he ignites towards the ancient tree. The violent flames engulf it’s leaf-filled branches, turning it into a flaming crown. Mustering his courage, Cioby throws an incendiary bomb, in front of him remaining nothing more of a smoking pile of ash. He kicks it, and says:
“Who’s the beeyotch now? And now let's do the victoy dance and get kissed by the golds!!"
New sounds can be heard around the goblin. More Treants, attracted by the immediate confrontation, close in on the little, green pyromaniac. Cioby begins to throw bombs left and right, front and back, up and down. Now HE has the initiative. Pieces of the animated vegetation begin to fly everywhere. Turning his back, the victorious Sapper does not notice the treant arm, flying straight towards him. A low thud sounds! Cioby has fallen. Fainted under the piece of wood, he was to blame for the explosions that led to the abortion of the mission.
But what of the Rogue who was supposed to clean up Cioby’s areas?
Ventry the mad smily Maxy departs according to plan. The elf fell quickly, but before striking him, the goblin asks: “You wanna know how I got these scars?”. In only a few minutes, more elves fell near The Cenarion Enclave. Arriving next to a building at the fringes of The Craftsman’s Terrace, the Rouge finds himself in the middle of a group of elves, caught in a fiery argument. The goblin jumps in a barrel. Scratching the scar on his nose, he listens to the elves’ pretty tangled discussion about The Emerald Dream. The number of elves grew, and the goblin remembered his mission. He crawled out of the barrel, climbed over a wall, and entered a building through its window. A few frowns, a moan and a silhouette in the semi-darkness catches his eye. He draws his dagger and moves closer…Surprise! Shock! Surprise and shock! In the goblin’s mind, unimaginable connections begin to form. In front of him a night elf was giving birth. The goblin draws nearer to her. Angry, he feels the scars at the corners of his mouth. The night elf was delirious. Maxi calms himself, and begins to help her with the childbirth, speaking to her in the tongue of the noble elves:
“My fair lady, time is money. Let’s get this over with, because I’ve got other pressing matters to attend to. You know, I sort of had to kill some elves at the moment. Com’on beautiful, push! Com’on! For the money's sake, is just 1 not 10 little monsters with long ears!!"
In her delirium, the elf grabs his hand and, smiling, answers his pleas to give birth faster, through a question:
The little elf was born when Cioby’s explosions begun. Ventry hand the newborn to his mother and vanishes. The retreat began according to plan…but, for the joke to be a joke until the very end, he began running in the same direction as the panicking elves. Realizing his mistake, he jumps into the first bush he sees, and broke for the field, but his eye got caught by a few parchments spread on the road. The goblin picked them up as he ran, and continued his escape. Suddenly he trips on a branch. Swearing and cursing, he finds Cioby, fainted still. He was put on his feet, with a few difficulties, and the two decided to use the water to escape right through the middle of the city. Ventry thinking:
" O my Fuking Gold, i'm the Goblin of the day."
Somewhere in The Cenarion Enclave, an elf kneeling in front of Broll Bearmantle- leader of the Cenarion - was begging for forgiveness, due to the loss of some very important documents. The unfortunate courier was knocked down by the explosion of a flying bomb, roaming across the sky. From around The Tradesman’s Terrace, even more such thingamajigs have been launched towards all of the city’s areas. Those mysterious devices were rockets belonging to the second Tinker who, also stuck in the elves’ city, was standing high on a hill, and was launching rocket after rocket. The elves’ confusion was absolute. They thought that the city was being attacked from the south-west area of the island. A large number of the population were attacking blindly whatever was moving through the merchant’s quarter, while other were exiting the town through The Main Gate, trying to find the enemy through the forest. A powerful explosion lit the Tink machine for a split second, which had run out of rockets. The self-destruct button had been pressed. The goblin, still protected by the upper part of the machine, was launched into the air. The blow propelled him somewhere in the southern area of The Temple Gardens, in the water, right next to the other two goblins who were swimming towards “Salvation!”. Arriving to shore, glad that they got out alive, they hugged.
“But will we get out of here?”
Tin asks, showing the broken lever that he still held in his hand. A ladder came from the sky. The band of goblins, amazed, looked up to the ladder, which lost itself in the cloud above them. A sharp tip pierced the cloud. It was The Mighty Wind.
The smoking Darnassus was falling behind them, the horizon began to lighten, and the zeppelin, still camouflaged as a cloud, was heading to safety, in The Horde’s territory. On board, the crew was forcing maximum speed. The rescued goblins’ stories had already become legends.
. “How can you piss on a Treant?” asked one of them. “Are you insane?! Helping an elf give birth?!” exclaimed another. “I think I’ll move to the Tinkers, to demolition!” completed a third goblin. Before returning to his game of dice, Ventry spoke: "I say we throw Cioby over-board. Just for the fun of it."
Nazgrel was standing with the parchments in hand. “ Treason! This is incredible! He must find out! Garrosh must see this!” This is what could be heard from time to time. The first parchment began as follows, written in Orcish: I, Broll Bearmantle, leader of the Cenarion, and member of the Alliance, bow in front of he who has reminded me that honour lives still...he has reminded me of myself, when I was a slave, and fought along side my present enemies. I honour them by writing these words in their tongue. I honour them by writing the history of one of them. The history of the Druid Ambassador...."
